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Tuesday, April 1st, 2003

Subject:In Which Erendis Is Satisfied
Time:8:57 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
I'm doing marvellously, for those of you who cared. The sex change clinic in Hollin is doing great business. No one seems to care that I'll only perform man to woman operations. Maybe it's the lengthy, profound, and reasonable talks I give them about how the world doesn't need as many men as it has now, let alone more. On second thought, maybe it's my mad knife skillz, yo.

I plant a tree for every dick that gets severed newly created feminine specimen.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 9th, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Loves Her Castrating Knife
Time:10:46 pm.
Mood: happy.
I am Prepared. Watch yourself, fucker.

Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, December 7th, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Takes Action
Time:11:02 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
We have A Plan.

That is all.

Oh, how I love my castrating knife and my autopsy saw.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, September 27th, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Hums
Time:4:57 pm.
Mood: chipper.
La, la, la...

*sharpens her best knife*

Castration Revenge in general is so pretty!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, September 21st, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Is Being Nice, Honest
Time:8:45 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
Has anyone, perchance, seen the second Ringwraith? I'd like to invite him over for...crumpets. Yes. My husband and Ancalimë will be there too. My daughter has done nothing but talk about him and I'm dying to meet him.

I make beautiful crumpets.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, June 11th, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Says "Hey, Ancalimë"
Time:8:01 am.
Mood: awake.
Never got around to telling you this the other day, but I liked your poem.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, May 31st, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Is Amused
Time:11:30 am.
Mood: amused.
The weird one of the Istari amuses me. Even if he is male.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, May 15th, 2002

Subject:In Which Erendis Admits to Having Been Dead
Time:12:10 pm.
Mood: working.
Mandos Recall Release Form

Name of Review Applicant (ie: King Undead Elven Fucker): Erendis/Uinéniel/Tar-Elestirnë

Residence: Númenor
Occupation/Position (ie: Lord of Doriath): Mother of Ancalimë, wife of him, worker for the Númenor conservationist cause
Species/Race (ie: Elf, Noldor): Human

Spouse (if applicable): Not anymore.
  • Name: This fucker.
  • Species/Race: Human
  • Is spouse living, dead or resurrected?: The last.
  • If living or resurrected, current relationship status: separated Never existed.
  • If living or resurrected, current residence: Don't care.

    Children (if applicable):
  • Name(s): Ancalimë
  • # disowned: None
    Are/have children...
  • Living, dead or resurrected?: Resurrected
  • Former band camp attendee(s)?: No. Too many men there.
  • Produced any Gamgee spawn?: Thank Eru, no. At least, she hasn't told me about it if she has.

    [X] Good
    [] Evil
    [] Waste of Space

    Historical accomplishment(s): Saving some trees in Númenor, and pissing this fucker off.

    Current Residence: none
    [X] Good
    [] Evil
    [] Slut
    Patron Vala/Valië (if applicable): None
    Reason for return: Fucking Hungry Hungry Hippos
    Method of release/escape from Mandos: Legitimate, legal, and perfectly understandable.
    In 100 words or less, justify your existence: I make him angry, and I am saving the world from men.


    [] YES
    [] NO

    --end of form
  • Comments: Add Your Own.

    Wednesday, May 8th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Is Irate
    Time:10:19 pm.
    Mood: aggravated.
    I hate men.

    I hate this fucking body.

    Maybe I'll kill someone.

    Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

    Tuesday, April 30th, 2002

    Time:1:19 am.
    Mood: pissed off.
    Fuck this.

    I could deal with a ferret.

    Not this.


    *goes off to hide*

    *muffled voice* Mff. I'm not coming out.
    Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

    Thursday, April 25th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Is Reunited With Her Daughter
    Time:1:09 pm.
    Mood: peaceful.
    Hi, Ancalimë. How are you?
    Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

    Friday, April 19th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Reminisces On Music-Related Issues
    Time:2:36 pm.
    Mood: okay.
    My greatest triumph was teaching my daughter the violin.

    My husband was a cello chauvinist. Because of his social standing (Almost King--and then King, even), everyone wanting his favour would come to the house and admire his cello.

    "Oh, the cello, the cello," they'd say. "Oh, I always wanted to play the cello."

    Aldarion used to pride himself on this. The only other instrument that gets that reaction, he would say, is a harp. And what of harps? They can only pluck.

    As a proud violinist myself, I always knew that the largest difference between a violin and a cello was the cello burned longer. In theory, that is. I never burned a cello. I don't like fire.

    When my daughter was growing up, I made sure she knew all about the violin. She grew to love it and was eventually cured of all her father's cello-chauvinistic ways.

    This wasn't the only useful thing I taught her, however. It makes me proud to see her practicing the ideas in which I, too, believe, namely:

    Men suck. Or at least they would if they could reach that far.

    In other news, there has been talk of me joining up with Nienor and Elladan on erhu and theremin, respectively. That's a beautiful calling. Maybe I'll do it.
    Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

    Saturday, April 13th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Is Elated
    Time:11:52 pm.
    Mood: ecstatic.
    Gríma is a wonderful person.

    Who else would destroy the Gates of Mandos? Ha.

    *waves* You're stuck there, fuckers, playing Hungry Hungry Hippos forever. Nonstop. Until you die from it. Except you can't. So there's no escape.


    *bounces off merrily* I like life. It's a hell of a lot better than death at any rate.
    Comments: Add Your Own.

    Friday, April 12th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Has An Idea
    Time:8:05 am.
    Mood: pensive.
    There's a music festival?

    You know, I busk. What else are you supposed to do when your man is gone for years at a time?

    What I did was I wrote a song (entitled "My Love Is Gone, How Boring") and was inspired to thus become a busker. I play violin. And sing. And am teaching myself the bodhrán, the sousaphone, and the erhu.

    Maybe I could attend. There's an idea.
    Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

    Wednesday, April 10th, 2002

    Subject:In Which Erendis Leaves the Dead
    Time:8:42 am.
    Mood: awake.
    I hate dead people.

    I'm sure I'd hate them even more when they were alive, but one gets to know the bad side of people all too well when they are constantly playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. Or the other one, with hobbits. Hungry Hungry Hobbits. Gah.

    So I talked to him. The conversation went something like:

    ME "I'm leaving."
    HIM throws forms at me
    ME fills out forms, citing "Reason to leave" as "Hungry Hungry Hippos"
    ME returns with completed forms
    HIM takes one look at the forms, notes the answer given under "Reason to leave", nods.
    HIM Understandable. Bye then.

    So I am in Middle-earth, with a new body and all. I had to bitch at them a little to prevent them from making me Michael J. Fox. They thought it would be funny. It wouldn't.


    Hello. Come talk to me if you want. Just remember I despise men and Hungry Hungry Hippos.
    Comments: Add Your Own.

    LiveJournal for Erendis.

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    You're looking at the latest 15 entries.